Kind words needed...again. Sorry!!

Hi Girls,

I hope you and you little ones are ok?

Despite my little boys scopes going well and Dr Shah being pleased with the appearance of his insides, he rang us prior to his mountain climb to advise that despite what he thought, the biopsy results were infact not good. Despite him being on daily prednisolone, ketotifen and azithromycin, he's still very inflamed and poorly. Dr Shah wants to see us on tuesday to discuss the results further and he said the only option left now is to put him on Azathioprine. Does anyone else's little one take this drug?

Dr Shah has advised us that only 8% of his patients end up taking this and that there are lots of risks and side effects associated with it. If I'm being honest, I'm really scared. The internet suggests the risks are horrific and it will completely wipe out his immune system and there are risks of liver damage, increased chances of getting certain cancers the list goes on and I can't see any positives coming from him taking this drug, although Dr Shah will hopefully answer our questions on tuesday.

I trust Dr Shah completely and obviously we'll do what he suggests but I feel like such a bad mum even contemplating allowing to have such a medication with such risks involved.

If I'm being honest, I think I've always been in a bit of denial about my little one's illness and hadn't realised how poorly he actually is. I'm so scared about the future for both him and for my daughter who is so tolerant of him as when he's at his worst and lashes out it's usually either me or her that ends up getting the brunt of it.

He's just horrific at the moment and is just tearful, clingy and so violent. Just his usual self when he's poorly but as I'm quite emotial right now I'm finding it harder than usual to deal with.

Sorry to ask for support again just don't know ehere else to turn xxxxxxxxxx

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