Getting my 7 year old to sleep in his own bed

Hi Kitty

When i was a nanny i did these things:

• Draw a magic line around the bed, which knows if you need a wee or a drink of water and keeps scary thoughts and beasties out. It works best if it isn't crossed for any reason other than wees or drinks.
• Low-light lamp - so not as dim as a nightlight but not bright enought to wake small people up.
• CDs with stories on - for a family I worked for whose parents travelled, I got them to record loads of stories with the parents reading them. These were enormously soothing. The Dad was brilliant, and for the older kid (11) actually recorded the entirety of the first Harry Potter book during his hotel-stay evenings on his business trips. Awesome.
• Leaving all the doors open and showing them when you put them back to bed that it's only 14 steps back to get me if they wanted me again.
• Really nice tucking in ritual. (I kiss Ruby's eyelids 'to make it easy to sleep'. She loves this and does it to Mickey Mouse when she puts him to bed.

With Rube, who's only been in our bed about three times since she was born, we just don't do it. It's probably a question of drawing a line and saying to yourselves (not the child) that this is the first night of the new regieme and never letting him in your bed again. Get up, take him back to bed with cuddles and things so he doesn't feel too bereft. We do sit by her bed and read our own books so we are there, but we don't really even offer her getting in ours.

We also do heated pad, so when Rube says she doesn't need to get up when I go in, I put the CD on and go downstairs to microwave Bear the Bear, get a cup of water etc so that I go away immediately after she wakes to get a kit that promises to get her comfy. Then she's a bit less clingy.

It is damn difficult to cope with how disrupted their sleep is. Hate that the hardest bit is always at 3am. I am not at my best at 3am. Sometimes I go straight through second best and third best and I am at my least best. My worst, if you will.

Grrrr - good luck.

xxx

Cath

Cath - little one born 2009 has inflamatory bowel and colitis...

Hiya

thanks for these ideas - they are great and i'll give them a go.

3am really is a rubbish time of night, so is 2am, 1am - in fact being up at night at all is a bit pants!  I look forward to the day when i don't wake up feeling knackered and fretting about the bags under my eyes and whether they'll soon reach my chin.

I am now trying a '10 point plan' i learnt from the book on childhood anxiety i've got - will see if it helps but as some of the waking is due to pain and discomfort I don't think it'll help and nothing we've ever tried has worked before so i am being realistic.  

i love the idea of recording stories on a CD!! that is brilliant and i am going to see if we have anything here that can do recording - i guess i need a special machine to do that?

how is Ruby this week?

Kx

Hi Kitty

What's the 10 point plan? I'd be really interested to know what that is - never heard of it...

As for recording...I record Voice Memos on my iPhone and then use iTunes to burn a CD of it. If your PC has a microphone you may well be able to create the files on there and burn a CD. Otherwise most iPods can be connected to a little directional microphone recorder (I've got one you can pop into Eversley to borrow for a few weeks if you want), so that you can then connect the iPod to the computer and use iTunes to burn a CD. If those options still leave you stuck, there are USB recorders that you can purchase, you can them connect the USB to your PC and use your PCs media package to burn a CD.

Pheeeew. Tech-out. Geekfest.

Cath

Cath - little one born 2009 has inflamatory bowel and colitis...

Hiya

Its from this book - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Your-Childs-Fears-Worries/dp/1845290860 and is a guide to helping your child cope with anxieties and fears - you basically agree a target with your child - in our case it will be sleeping in his own bed - then you jointly come up with 10 steps to get you there and 10 rewards at the end of each step e.g Night One - ,stay in own bed but mum gets in for a few minutes to comfort and cuddle then leaves again' and Night Three may be 'mum stays at bedside but doesn't get in bed and offers comfort'. Each step needs a reward of increasing value (although that doesn't need to mean money - a family game or trip to park counts too) so night one gets a bag of sweets and for night ten he's chosen a trip to santa! 

It really helped when we used it to get him used to going to an after school club without me and its worked - by the 10th step he was happy to stay without me and he really loved the rewards. 

thanks for the info on how to record voices - my hubby is going to check tonight if i can do it on the computer, if not i'd be really grateful to borrow yoru recorder as i'm going to record books on CD and give it to them for Xmas! i so love that idea - thank you!

Kx

Hi Kitty

God 10 points sounds genius. Trip to Santa for point 10? I love it. 

On the subject of audio bookeryness - there are also lots of dramatisations on CD which littl'uns like. I adored these when I was small and Rubes is obsessed with her Mog one. To the point that I don't love it quite so much anymore but...what the hell!

We are struggling again - poorly Rubes. Ear infection this time. We've been trying to hold off the dreaded amoxycillin but I think we might be at that point. My ma is going to bop along to the GP with Rube this afternoon to get him to have another look in the ears, but I think it probably is time. I think I'm going to have to take tomorrow and Wed off though, because a) we've never given standard antibiotics before and I want to monitor the nappies and b) she is still feeling so rough I don't want her to do the hurly burly of nursery. I'm not going to tell her, though - just say she's not going today and leave it at that...

Bugger off winter bugs. I've got her cold and it's just a horrible streamer. Hate it. It's bad enough blowing my nose every 5 minutes, worrying about Rube having penicillin and getting no bloody sleep without the added ignominy of looking as rough as dogs regardless of how much makeup I apply. Gah.

Huff and grump.

Cath

Cath - little one born 2009 has inflamatory bowel and colitis...

Oh and of course you can borrow the recorder thingy if you need to. Just let me know.

xx

Cath - little one born 2009 has inflamatory bowel and colitis...

hiya, sorry this is rushed but i'm off on school run but i just wanted to say that GOSH told us, when ours have infections, to opt for the azithromycin rather than standard antibiotics as it has antinflammatory properties so can help with the guts reaction to illnesses. Just wanted to let u know b4 u go to docs in case u wanted to ask for the azithro instead - we give it for all infections incl: ear infections. u may prefer standard ones though - up to u.

hope she's ok and will reply properly later!

big hugs,

Kx

Hi Kitty

Thanks so much for that - really helpful. Will try to get that question asked - can you tell me doseage? I'm going to try and call you in a sec...

x

Cath - little one born 2009 has inflamatory bowel and colitis...

hiya

how is she today? did u have any joy with docs?

hope she's ok and that you are feeling bit better,

Kitty

Hi Suzanne

Thanks so much for your advice. Bloody brilliant. So glad and grateful to have had it. Doc advised hanging on a bit longer and I think *grimaces and crosses fingers* that he was right. But he did agree to give Azitho and actually gave us a bottle of it, uncombined, to have so that if she has another v painful ears night, we can start it immediately.

Such a lovely supportive man, my Ma had no difficulty dealing with him. When Rube had a sore ear yesterday, she came over and said "Go an see Dottor Van den Boss and an he says do a Calpol for Ruby's ear". So cute. We did 'do a Calpol'!!

Thanks again for your help -

xxx

Cath

Cath - little one born 2009 has inflamatory bowel and colitis...

Hiya

I'm so pleased she's feeling better. Our youngest takes it prophylactically but our eldest has it on an 'as and when' basis and so we keep some in the cupboard ready just in case-  so its handy you have a bottle.

we've found a way to record us reading stories but thanks for the offer. I'm really enjoying recording them! I felt strangely emotional recording the books that they loved when they were little - they've grown up so fast. I am trying to record ones they loved when they were toddlers right through to ones they like now. My hubby is going to record some too so they can hear us both on it.

Thanks for such a top idea. We'll give it to them at xmas.

My eldest has slept bit better this week but last night woke loads. So he's very tired today.

How's Ruby and how's your cold?

kx

How is Ruby? How is the food trialling going?

Kx

Hi Kitty

Rubes is okay - came down with another cold over the weekend. Bloody germs. She's not been like this before, but this is her fourth bug since late September, so I fear we may be moving into a new phase where she picks up everything going...boo.

So no food trials yet, because the tummy is still so angry about the cold germs that have had the audacity to offend it! Next thing to do is attempting to re-intro peanut butter and if that's successful, to try beef. Beef! Pah! We'll do it, she'll react to it, we'll write it on the list and so it goes on...you know the score.

I'm thinking we're probably at the point that when scopes are suggested in the Spring we will be fully ready for them - we've made absolutely no dietary progress in one year. Twelve months and nothing that we had introduced in that time, even things that seemed initially not to cause problems, has actually stuck.

I'm annoyed with it obviously, but also feel quite confident that she's going to need the aspirin-derivative anti-inflam that he could give after the scope, if we're ever going to make any kind of progress with her diet.

How are the boys? How are you?

xxx

Cath

PS My cold is all but gone, now, thanks for asking in your earlier post. xxx

Hiya,

Poor Ruby - winter really does suck! 4 colds is a lot since Sept. My eldest son is picking up one after the other too and i think its affected his tummy as he's complained more of pain lately.

Sorry you think Ruby is heading towards scopes but I can understand the frustration that she's not been able to tolerate any more food for a year now. That must be so hard. I know the scopes aren't a pleasant thought so you are very welcome to join me in Head Burying! I've decided i'm not going to think about it until its actually in the diary so my head is firmly in the sand right now.  Maybe the scopes will be a turning point for both our children?

We had our long awaiting OT assessment yesterday and I thought we were just going to talk about his oral aversions and dislike of messy textures / dirt etc but they did a full assessment and found a number of other things that need dealing with! The OT felt he had problems with balance, motor control, muscle strength - paricularly core body strength and a number of other things. I am puzzled as to what this all means but i'm guessing its related to the EGID as his joint issues are.

We have to do lots of therapy at home so i'm already worrying about how to fit that in along with the other physio, the speech therapy and homework etc.

She also wants his eyes checking.

On a happy note - we recorded our boys fav stories onto CD's like u suggested and we gave it to them this weekend as we hoped it would entertain them on a long journey to Wales - and they loved them!!! It was so sweet as they grinned whilst listening to the stories and laughed at my husbands ones as he did funny voices etc.  It was really lovely - thanks for the idea!

Hope you are ok,

Kitty

That sounds like a heavy appointment. So sorry you didn't get more good news. Still, the more you know, the more power you have to improve things. Or at least, to understand them and hope to one day improve.

Glad the CDs were a success! I like it when Ruby recites along with our ones. Pleasing...

Hope you have a great Crimbo and we must meet up again in the New Year.

xxx

Cath

Hiya

Hope you have a lovely Christmas too and yes I'd love to meet up in the New Year!  Happy to meet up at lunch again in Eversley or if you wanted us all to meet up as families then we are free most weekends and happy to go for a run around a park or somewhere like The Look Out etc?

Kx 

Hi

Would be lovely to meet up - probably best to make it just us for the moment as it's quite a trek from ours for Rube to run around in a cold park - let's meet with the kids in Farnham or somewhere half-way between when the weather warms up a bit.

I can do pub again end of Jan - any good?

xx

Cath

Cath - little one born 2009 has inflamatory bowel and colitis...

Hiya

sorry for delay but we've been away at Grandmas for Xmas.  How was your xmas? Was Ruby well?  did Santa visit?

pub sounds great and i can do most days in January!!! Let me know which day suits you!

I understand about the cold park thing, especially if they are feeling rotten.

happy new year!

Kitty